As a middle-aged Baby Boomer I can vividly recall great memories from my high school teenage days. Those were the days when my peers and I thought we had discovered the answers to all of life’s profound and critical issues, and we didn’t quite grasp why the adults around us didn’t seem to have a clue about even simple things.
Simple things like, what it was that we teens wanted, needed, and expected from them…
I can remember the big question mark looks teens “back in the day” would get from our adult caregivers – those from both inside and outside of the home.
You know, that look of “what do today’s teens want from us?!”
And, the look we’d usually reciprocate was one of respectful annoyance; as we wondered why they couldn’t tell from our selective verbal cues, ongoing nonverbal cues, and daily mood swings…
Teens wondered and talked openly with each other (usually not with the adults) about what we wanted and expected from adults. We just could not comprehend why the adults around us couldn’t and didn’t just KNOW what these things were.
A whole e-generation later, identical age-appropriate questions continue to reverberate in the atmosphere.
Baby Boomer parents and Silent Generation grandparents may sometimes look at our teens in sheer wonderment and complete confusion when we can’t easily figure them out.
And, our digital-native teens will sometimes look back at us with a very familiar respectful annoyance; wondering why their adult caregivers both inside and outside of the home can’t and don’t just KNOW what they want, need, and expect from us at any time, on any given day, and depending upon what mood they (teens) are in.
Balance.
Knowing how to balance just what our teens want from us on any given day and at any given moment requires a lot of listening, watching, observing, questioning, a terrific sense of humor; and maybe even a bit of “blood, sweat, and tears” at times.
The kind of questioning teens seem to want from us can’t resemble nagging in any way, shape, or form. Instead, it’s the kind that speaks to our teen’s transition from children and transition into adulthood – all at the same time. Some of the questioning needs to be done via the Internet in an e-mail or an instant message, even if both you and the teen are in the same space at the time.
We also need a keen sense of humor, which will need to be activated every time the teen provides an answer to one of our targeted and teen-appropriate questions.
Since teens speak so loudly to us through their nonverbal actions, we have to be able to “speak mime” as we watch and observe their actions if we really want to get to understand them.
Adults also have to be excellent at conducting parental espionage operations.
The kind that allows us to respectfully listen in on a group of teenage friends having a summer swim party at one of their homes a few days before the new school year begins. And, where adults only occasionally surface to either provide transportation or more food; or to take a group photo to be posted on a social network site the teens regularly use to communicate with each other.
Also, the kind of espionage that uses a cell phone to text message something to that teen hosting the summer party; despite the fact that the parent is inside the house, and the teenage group is just several yards away enjoying their fun time together.
Frankly, the adults in the lives of today’s teens can in fact figure out what our teens want and need from us once we “virtually” learn to e-speak their e-language and their frequently mimed behaviors.
This ability to e-communicate in the e-world with today's digital native teens is of the utmost importance for a number of reasons, including the fact that they are not only our future leaders; they are also our future senior care providers.
You know when you’ve come up with the right e-communication formula when instead of you busting in on your teen’s harmless summer swim party to check out what’s going on; your teen comes into the house every so often to check on you…and, to invite you out to the party area for a brief time of enjoyment.
And, when all of the party guests have gone home, that same teen gives you a bear hug and says something like: "Hey, Mom...let's hang out for a while in the backyard before we clean up."
Sharon M. Biggs, M.A.
Co-Chair & President
Lifeline Foundation, Inc.
And, when all of the party guests have gone home, that same teen gives you a bear hug and says something like: "Hey, Mom...let's hang out for a while in the backyard before we clean up."
Sharon M. Biggs, M.A.
Co-Chair & President
Lifeline Foundation, Inc.
"Children are the globe's most precious commodity." (Terence H. Biggs, Jr., 2009)
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Princeton, New Jersey 08540
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Website: http://www.mylifelinefoundation.org/
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Lifeline Foundation Inc.'s President:
Sharon M. Biggs, M.A.
SharonBiggs@MyLifelineFoundation.org
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