Title: Professional SAHM
Key Accomplishments: Provide senior leadership in the collaborative and coordinated logistics; public relations; activities; security; medical treatment; meal preparation; facility improvements, upgrades, and maintenance; budget development and administration; scheduling; goal-setting; daily instruction, and other varied functions as the need arises for the husband and children I am happily responsible for.
Stay-At-Home-Moms (SAHMs) have no gaps in their work experience…
I was just thinking about “rules” and thought I’d share some thoughts with our readers.
A few years ago, when I was experiencing a little more than “the baby blues;” I was speaking with a trusted friend who gives me good counsel when I need it.
During the conversation I was asked to create a list of 10 rules I have for myself, and 10 rules my mother has for people. After developing the lists I was supposed to compare the two of them against each other.
What this friend was getting at was that we can’t always expect to follow everyone’s rules for us, and if we try to; we’ll make ourselves miserable (or crazy).
Whenever I would hear someone say, “I would never…” or “Everyone should…” I would immediately begin to stress out over something that I either did or didn’t do just because someone else seemed to think I should or shouldn’t be doing something.
I admit that I still do this from time to time, but I’m learning to talk myself out of it.
If someone says that her stove and sink always has to be clean regardless of what shape the rest of the house is in, I feel that I need to scour my stove and sink before that person comes to my house for a visit in order to avoid their judgment of my housekeeping skills.
One time a fellow SAHM told me that I have to be a good mom and take my kids to a popular children’s restaurant and funhouse. For months I thought to myself: I am a terrible mom because I’ve never taken my kids there.
Another SAHM once said, “If there’s one thing you make yourself, it HAS to be tomato sauce…you CAN’T buy jarred or canned sauce.”
As wrong as I was to think I was a bad mom for not having been to that restaurant and funhouse earlier, I was just as wrong to now feel validated because I almost always make my sauce from scratch.
A friend told me that she and her husband were told to NEVER let their baby use a pacifier because the baby would be an elementary school-aged child still using a pacifier.
They didn’t listen to this “advice” because knowing their baby’s needs, the pacifier was a good fit – and, they went ahead and purchased one in every possible color to go with the baby’s matching outfits!
At two, the baby decided to stop using the pacifier during the day once daycare started. By three, the couple was in fact able to wean the baby away from the pacifier that was now only being used for an occasional lull to sleep in the evenings.
Key Accomplishments: Provide senior leadership in the collaborative and coordinated logistics; public relations; activities; security; medical treatment; meal preparation; facility improvements, upgrades, and maintenance; budget development and administration; scheduling; goal-setting; daily instruction, and other varied functions as the need arises for the husband and children I am happily responsible for.
Stay-At-Home-Moms (SAHMs) have no gaps in their work experience…
I was just thinking about “rules” and thought I’d share some thoughts with our readers.
A few years ago, when I was experiencing a little more than “the baby blues;” I was speaking with a trusted friend who gives me good counsel when I need it.
During the conversation I was asked to create a list of 10 rules I have for myself, and 10 rules my mother has for people. After developing the lists I was supposed to compare the two of them against each other.
What this friend was getting at was that we can’t always expect to follow everyone’s rules for us, and if we try to; we’ll make ourselves miserable (or crazy).
Whenever I would hear someone say, “I would never…” or “Everyone should…” I would immediately begin to stress out over something that I either did or didn’t do just because someone else seemed to think I should or shouldn’t be doing something.
I admit that I still do this from time to time, but I’m learning to talk myself out of it.
If someone says that her stove and sink always has to be clean regardless of what shape the rest of the house is in, I feel that I need to scour my stove and sink before that person comes to my house for a visit in order to avoid their judgment of my housekeeping skills.
One time a fellow SAHM told me that I have to be a good mom and take my kids to a popular children’s restaurant and funhouse. For months I thought to myself: I am a terrible mom because I’ve never taken my kids there.
Another SAHM once said, “If there’s one thing you make yourself, it HAS to be tomato sauce…you CAN’T buy jarred or canned sauce.”
As wrong as I was to think I was a bad mom for not having been to that restaurant and funhouse earlier, I was just as wrong to now feel validated because I almost always make my sauce from scratch.
A friend told me that she and her husband were told to NEVER let their baby use a pacifier because the baby would be an elementary school-aged child still using a pacifier.
They didn’t listen to this “advice” because knowing their baby’s needs, the pacifier was a good fit – and, they went ahead and purchased one in every possible color to go with the baby’s matching outfits!
At two, the baby decided to stop using the pacifier during the day once daycare started. By three, the couple was in fact able to wean the baby away from the pacifier that was now only being used for an occasional lull to sleep in the evenings.
All it took was a heart-to-heart talk with the youngster about entering preschool, growing up, having straight teeth, and a snipped-off pacifier top.
After a 5-minute cry, the child went to sleep that same night after the talk without the pacifier.
Two weeks later, the child couldn’t even recognize or identify what a pacifier was by looking at a picture of one in a magazine. Out of sight, out of mind.
So much for the “everyone shoulds” and the “I would nevers…”
Someone will always be better at something than the rest of us are. And, we will in turn be stronger in some other area that others seem to struggle in.
Each day I strive more and more to learn how to accept and be grateful for the gifts, talents, and strengths I’ve been blessed with. There is a time and a purpose for the use of my gifts and talents, different from the time and purpose for the use of someone else’s gifts and talents.
So, the rule I’m determined to follow, and to teach my daughters and others to follow is:
Always enjoy, embrace, and celebrate your own strengths and the strengths of others; and never allow yourself to feel judged, incapable, or too capable based on someone else’s thoughts or comments about what you do or don’t do when you know you’ve given it your all and tried your best – just be true to who you are…
Thanks for reading and listening to my thoughts this week. I hope this week’s message has helped someone who may have needed to hear it right about now.
I’ll speak with you again next Saturday…
Stephanie Evans
Professional SAHM
Stephanie Evans and her husband, Bill, live in New Jersey with their three daughters who are ages five, three, and one. Stephanie has a B.S. degree in Music Education and taught Music for 11 years in the public school system. She loves children and enjoyed being a teacher, but she loves being a SAHM even more!
After a 5-minute cry, the child went to sleep that same night after the talk without the pacifier.
Two weeks later, the child couldn’t even recognize or identify what a pacifier was by looking at a picture of one in a magazine. Out of sight, out of mind.
So much for the “everyone shoulds” and the “I would nevers…”
Someone will always be better at something than the rest of us are. And, we will in turn be stronger in some other area that others seem to struggle in.
Each day I strive more and more to learn how to accept and be grateful for the gifts, talents, and strengths I’ve been blessed with. There is a time and a purpose for the use of my gifts and talents, different from the time and purpose for the use of someone else’s gifts and talents.
So, the rule I’m determined to follow, and to teach my daughters and others to follow is:
Always enjoy, embrace, and celebrate your own strengths and the strengths of others; and never allow yourself to feel judged, incapable, or too capable based on someone else’s thoughts or comments about what you do or don’t do when you know you’ve given it your all and tried your best – just be true to who you are…
Thanks for reading and listening to my thoughts this week. I hope this week’s message has helped someone who may have needed to hear it right about now.
I’ll speak with you again next Saturday…
Stephanie Evans
Professional SAHM
Stephanie Evans and her husband, Bill, live in New Jersey with their three daughters who are ages five, three, and one. Stephanie has a B.S. degree in Music Education and taught Music for 11 years in the public school system. She loves children and enjoyed being a teacher, but she loves being a SAHM even more!
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